By Carol Moxley
Support groups are usually started by one or two homeschoolers looking for camaraderie and group activities with other homeschoolers. In the beginning, the work is done by one person, or perhaps a few people. As the group grows, it is still one, or a few, who continue to do the work. That one, or few, eventually find themselves unable to single-handedly coordinate activities, publish a newsletter, answer questions for new homeschoolers, handle the groups' funds, keep records, put out fires, deal with complaints, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
HELP WANTED!!!
When this happens, most group leaders simply submit a general request to the group for help. "I can't do it all myself anymore. I need help." The group has been watching, seeing how much you do, and they've noticed that it's worn you out. Do you really think they're going to raise their hands, only to wind up as frustrated and exhausted as you are? Think again!
Instead, compose a list of tasks that someone else can take on for you. People are much more likely to offer to help with a specific, clearly defined task. For example, "I need someone to schedule and submit two park days each month and get the information to the newsletter person." Or, "I need someone to lay out and print the newsletter each month, and I need someone else to copy and mail it."
Another effective option is to approach an individual for a specific job that they would do well. "Mary, I understand you enjoy working on your computer. I'd be really appreciative if you'd help out with the newsletter for a while. I'm available to help you get started."
Don't be afraid to call someone on the phone to ask for help. Read off your list of jobs and tell them that picking just one thing will not only relieve you of some of the burden, but will keep that particular activity from disappearing all together.
Turn suggestions into volunteer opportunities. If Jane thinks a tour of the water plant is a good idea, agree with her. Emphatically! Ask her to arrange it and get the information to the newsletter. Then thank her! Profusely! Perhaps Cathy thinks the teens should have their own activities. Agree! Ask her to put something in the next newsletter to get it kicked off. If Mary complains that there are no preschool activities, ask her what types of activities she would like to see available for preschoolers. Then encourage her to set them up. If she declines, remind her that there are probably others who would also enjoy such activities and invite her to let you know when she's ready to give it a go.
Be willing to let something disappear for a while. If coordinating the field trips is just too much, and you've been unsuccessful finding someone to take over, stop doing it. If field trips are important to your group, someone will step forward once the activities are missed. If nobody does offer to do this, then maybe the group simply doesn't want or need field trips that badly right now.
Setting The Stage For New Members
If your group doesn't already have a membership form of some sort, it may be time to create one. These are relatively simple forms with name, address, phone number, email address, names and ages of children, etc. Include a statement such as: "Please indicate in which area(s) you are willing to help the group by placing a checkmark in the list below." Follow that with a list of general areas such as newsletter, field trips, welcoming committee, phone tree, special programs, and so on. Now, when you're looking for someone to fill a specific job, you'll have a list of people who have already expressed a willingness to help out in that area!
Managing The Unmanagable
As you get the sundry tasks delegated, questions and challenges will pop up. People will turn to you for answers and guidance. So no, you're not free from all responsibility within the group, but your responsibility has changed. You don't have to do it all anymore, but you have to oversee quite a bit of it. It's okay, though. This new role, just like the old one, is temporary. One day, someone will be able to take over for you here as well.
Meanwhile, it might be helpful to create written guidelines for the delegated tasks. Those coordinating field trips, for example, should include certain basic information to the newsletter. If it is clear (and in writing) what information must be included, communication will be smoother and so will your nerves. Deadlines, budgeting, record keeping, and any job that you want a volunteer to assume quickly and easily should be clearly defined so you don't have to hold anyone's hand or give constant verbal direction. Written job descriptions also benefit the volunteer by specifying exactly what will be expected during that person's term and by allowing that person to decline extra duties that are not already delegated to them in writing. Sound like a big job? Let the first group of volunteers write their own job descriptions and the guidelines they need in order to do their jobs effectively.
If your group is a small, informal group, this might be relatively simple and may even seem unnecessary. But as groups grow, so does the need for management tools such as by-laws, guidelines, and job descriptions.
Changes Ahead
As you find people willing to help, be aware that they may not do things exactly as you would. You may find that you just have to let go of any desire to micromanage each person's job. Unless you want to go back to doing it all yourself, or you decide to pay these people to do it exactly the way you want it done, you're going to have to be flexible by allowing them to do some things their own way. As long as their way doesn't interfere with the overall function of the group, no harm is done.
You built the group. You have a vision for it. You feel a certain degree of ownership towards it. You don't want the group to diverge from the path you set for it in the beginning. This is normal. Leadership in the group changes, (and changes, and changes) over time. With changes in leadership come changes for the group as an entity. It grows. It evolves. This is normal also. However, a conflict between these two tendencies, common though it may be, does not need to happen.
If you are flexible and willing to let the group shape itself over time, all will be well; relinquish coordination of the group and be at peace. But if you are locked into maintaining the course you initially set for the group and want to make sure there is no deviation, you will have to make certain that by-laws exist for the group and that they are narrow enough in scope so that all future leaders of the group are bound to uphold and adhere to your vision.
Bottom Line
Whether the intent is for the group to remain informal, with you at the helm and a crew of helpers available to take on specific duties, or whether you expect the group to grow into a formal entity with elected officers and by-laws, you're not going to be able to do it all yourself forever. When looking for help be specific, be encouraging, be flexible, and be appreciative!
