by Sue Patterson

One family + one family + one family + a couple of fun activities = A Support Group

We didn't really set out to start a support group of our own. Let me just say, that was not part of The Plan.

As a military family, I understood about jumping in with both feet and helping the kids make friends quickly. We knew how to seek out groups - whether they were Newcomer Clubs, or Moms & Tots play groups, or swim teams and dance classes. So when we moved to Alaska and started to homeschool, I thought we'd have no problem finding a group.

This was the mid-90's at the time, and internet connections weren't as common as they are today. But support groups were out there. So I found out about the Alaskan state homeschooling group, and read about activities being set up for the kids in the area. We went to a couple of different groups, to see who would "fit" with us.  Several groups asked their members to sign "statements of faith." I didn't really have a problem with most of the wording in these "statements," even though it was clearly rigid fundamentalist and we were plain ole Episcopalians. But I had never seen anything like this before, and it felt like this "statement" about being Christian was being used as a tool to exclude people. Being a "more the merrier" type, it just rubbed me the wrong way. Who were they so afraid of?  Other groups that were so low profile, it was hard to figure out what was going on. I started to get the feeling this might ba a little trickier than I had originally anticipated.

So we just went on with our days. Because we were enjoying our new daytime freedom, we were going to the indoor swimming pool during the mornings. The first day there, we met another homeschooling family with 3 boys. They were fun and Michael, my oldest, was thrilled. The mom, Gail, and I would sit for hours discussing homeschooling, philosophies of learning, and she'd bring what I thought were the most wonderful catalogs I had ever seen!

Then when we signed Michael up for Cub Scouts, we found that another homeschooling family was running a Scout troop very near our house. The Scout leader was a homeschooling dad - of 4 boys! A very rowdy bunch! It turned out that the dad, Brett, was a stay-at-home dad, and the mom, Linda, was a doctor with fairly flexible work hours. They called themselves unschoolers. And at the time, I had no idea what that even meant!

So now we had our 3 families. Remember the simple math?

We brainstormed about forming our own group. We just needed a few more families - and certainly we needed to add some girls into this mix for my two daughters! So we made a flyer and tacked it up at grocery store bulletin board and in the library.  It was to be a simple get together to see if there were others out there we didn't know about. It was a flop. I don't know whether it was because most people with kids just walk past grocery store bulletin boards (remember, this was pre-Facebook!), or if people were too busy, or what the problem was. Most likely it was because we didn't have a really great activity to lure families out of their comfortable status quo.

So we decided to make a plan. We would set up Friday Field Trip Day.  Each Friday, we'd go to a different  place. But we'd set up a 6-month plan, with each month looking alike. We set up classes and negotiated a "Homeschool Discount" if they came during the time we set up.

Here's what it looked like:
1st Friday - Eagle River Nature Center. The Naturalist would give us the same classes they offered to the public on the weekends, just a little better rate. They were thrilled to have kids wanting to come learn!

2nd Friday - Anchorage Museum of Art. We set up art classes and got discounted rates to just play in the very-hands on natural history museum.

3rd Friday - Imaginarium Science Center. Again, discounted tickets, and the kids were able to roam freely.

4th Friday - Park Day at the big Playscape on Base. We left word at the gate, and if they said "Homeschool Park Day", they would be let in.  (This was pre - 9/11 so you'd probably have to get a park not on military installation.)

We created a flyer with specific prices for the different activities. In order to participate, they would have to "join" our free group.  And we took our flyers to the local group meetings, to the ice rink, wherever we could find other homeschoolers. We asked everyone to "spread the word"

And they did! Our first activity at the Nature Center had 16 families attend!! A support group was evolving right before our eyes. Some families would be participating in just one or two activities, a few others like us were hitting the ground running!  Over time, the class locations would change. Sometimes members who wanted to attend a show, found out that we could tag along on school field trips when the show as not booked - we saw a lot of theatre, dance, and concerts that way.  We ended up discovering that the moms really needed the connection as much as the kids. So we created a Coffee night once a month. Over the years, we tried different things. Sometimes we varied the coffee shop. Sometimes, we had a focus. One year, we chose a topic like "learning to read" or "art" or "math" and we invited the moms to bring their favorite curriculum/game/idea. That was an inexpensive way to see various materials and get a real life review as well!

After a while, our kids wanted to do some other activities. We kept the Nature Center classes, finished our commitment and let the others fall away. Our little group held potlucks. Our parkdays would last for hours and often move to someone's home afterward. We took field trips to reindeer farms, berry-picking, and a variety of tourist attractions. We had so much fun.  All because one family talked to a couple other families, and decided to make some group plans.

In the end what we learned was:

• All you need is a core group of families willing to commit to the activities at the start. This way, as families trickle in, there's plenty of Life going on.
  
• Choose activities that YOUR children want to do. That way, if no one shows up, your kids are still happy and you're not irritated.
• Be careful about costs. Don't choose a lot of expensive things in one month. Spread out the expense. Set up free stuff to keep the momentum going.
  
• See if you can negotiate for multiple kids in one family. It's one thing to pay $7 for one child. But if a family has 3 or more, that can start to get a little pricey.
• Don't overdo it. You want to keep this fun for you too!!
  
• If someone asks "Does your group have...xyz?" You can always ask that person to set it up or find out more about it. You don't have to shoulder everything.
  
• Keep it fun for the kids. Don't overdo it for them either. You know your kids best and know if they can handle structured classes, or how many in one month, or if they need more unstructured playtime.
  
• Plan something for the moms as you start to meet them. Our coffee nights sometimes turned into homeschool book reviews. We even had a speaker come talk to us about homeschooling/learning. (Ruth Beechick)
• Set up a calendar online or in print that people can keep track of dates.

And that's the way we did it.... that time.